The Background
I was asked by a reader in a blog comment to bring you more on how to overcome fear. A large part of this is also the ability to build confidence as with confidence fear is absent or minimized. If you saw the comment then you probably saw me reply asking for specifics but the reader never replied either publicly or privately; so anything I say here has nothing to do with that request. It’s simply my thoughts and discoveries regarding these issues.
I’d like to state that despite what anyone may think about me , whether they know me personally or simply know me as the man behind the written words on this blog, I do get scared at times and do feel fear.
A Personal Story
In fact just yesterday I finally received a much wanted contact from a lawyer who is representing the Canadian Forces Pension Services in my civil suit against them. When I saw the call on my phone and listened to the e-mail I felt mixed emotions but was pleased that I was at work and couldn’t take the time to reply until later. This “break” gave me time to think and plan on what I would say to him. Like many (perhaps all) people I felt fear along with the insecurity of what I would say to this man. In this post I will explain what I did and how I overcome fear and build confidence for when I did have time to reply to him.
Having received the message and having the typical response of uncertainty I decided to wait until lunch time to decide if I was going to call him back or wait on it as I’ve been trying to get these people to reply to my claim since February. At noon I called a friend of mine and inquired as to the typical procedures with these matters as he’s been through this several times. My friend, Lumar, advised me that all I’d have to do is call him back and inquire as to his intentions. That seemed logical to me but he also cautioned me against speaking too much about the case outside of what was already in the file and that he should already have in his possession.
After work I called the attorney, Derek, and introduced myself. I was unsure of the situation but wanted to stand my ground regarding my position and standing with my law suit. It turned out to predominantly work in my favor in that I got him to consent to contact by e-mail so “we have a record of our dealings and due to the conflict in schedules you could e-mail me during the day and I could respond in the evening so you have it to review the next day”. They are also 2 hours away from the town I live in so it does make it more convenient.
Thoughts About The Story
This may sound like a trivial thing but I do know people who a terrified of lawyers and run at the sight or sound of one. What it is, however, is confirmation that even those who you see as “strong and courageous” may not be as you see them but rather may just be competent in overcoming their personal limitations and you need to develop the confidence to do that.
There is a saying, “fear is conquered by confidence and confidence is gained by knowledge”. In order to gain confidence you must educate yourself on the matters that you are afraid of; if that is required. For example, if you are afraid of flying but you never need nor want to fly anywhere it’s irrelevant but if you need to take regular business trips by air then you may wish to research the extremely low incident reports of actual airline and flight activity. If you have new issues you’re required to deal with such as legal or financial matters and you’re unsure of them then you need to investigate all you can regarding them through proper resources.
I say proper resources because there is so much on the internet these days that it gets highly confusing as to the facts of those claiming they have the answers. There are Astro-theologians claiming you need to “lose the name” and there are others claiming that the state has total power and can do as it pleases. Obviously the real truth lies somewhere in the middle and you need to read the factual documents that created the situation you are in and if, how and when you consented to the claims being made against you. If you haven’t made any decisions yet and are considering the options then you need to inform yourself about the offers and demand full disclosure on the matters before you.
Conclusion
Following these simple steps will help you overcome fear and gain confidence in the decisions and actions you are considering or forced to be involved with. Always remember that knowledge is power. You want to ensure you know the facts of the situations you are facing and you can only do that by clearly communicating and properly researching the matters before you: and doing so properly.
If you found this post insightful or useful please comment below. If you’d like to share your personal stories again please post them below in the comments section on when and how you have learned to overcome fear and develop confidence personally.
Until next time I wish you Peace and Prosperity,
Rob
P.S. Earlier today I lost my fight to have the motion heard but after arguing with the judge he did deny their request for almost 3 months and only granted them two (2) weeks to get their shit together. 😉
